In the name of the King A Dungeon Siege Tale

In the name of the King
A Dungeon Siege Tale

He’s back!!! That’s right your favorite director is back with another masterpiece. Oh wait I’m not reviewing a good movie? I’m still doing movies based on videogames? CRAP!!!! That means it’s another Uwe Boll movie doesn’t it? Ok well this movie had a big budget and actors people know so it’s got to be good right? Right?
Dungeon siege is about a simple farmer named farmer whose wife and son are kidnapped when a race of monsters called Krugs attack the kingdom of Ehb. Farmer fights them off rescuing a few people along the way and later joins the king’s army to help fight an evil wizard.

Ok so this time around Boll gets a big budget and what’s he do with it? Hires one of the more popular action stars at the time (Statham) hires a sometimes b sometimes a list actor (Ron Pearlman) and hires 2 ex superstar actors (Reynolds and Liotta) add in one CG and special effects fight scene and a whole two armies rushing at Each other and you get dungeon siege.

Let’s get this straight right off the bat I don’t blame the actors I blame the casting director or whoever is responsible for hiring the actors and choosing their roles. It seems boll just wanted as many big names as possible to try to get people to come see this movie. I mean Burt Reynolds and ray Liotta are good actors but to cast them in medieval/fantasy roles like this is just silly and produced only laughter from me.

Statham is great as always especially since this is a purely action role and that is certainly where he excels. Thank god ray Liotta was the bad guy anything and it probably would have been completely unwatchable. It was hard enough hearing him shout threats about magic. Reynolds isn’t a bad actor but again I just don’t think a medieval role was right for him.

It’s not just the incorrectly cast actors either most of the dialog is just silly even for a fantasy movie. But there are a few things the movie does right. The action is well shot and until the last fight scene is pretty good. In the last scene the movie forgets it’s a fantasy movie and thinks it’s the matrix, With Statham flipping all over the place in an unfitting display of wire-fu.

The other thing the movie does right is the content and story compared to the game and that’s double surprising considering it’s a Boll movie. The story is almost identical to the one in the game and they even went as far as to name the main character farmer witch I think is great. The Krug are from the game and look and act like the digital counterparts as well the kingdom is named correctly as well as the town of stone bridge. Statham even collects party members along the way.

A lot of critics complained about the action being very similar to lord of the rings but I think that’s a bull shit complaint. 300, troy, kingdom of heaven, king Arthur, and Alexander all have army on army action scenes and there were plenty of movies before lord of the rings to have them as well I think this complaint was simply made for the sake of complaining and is another reason I hate professional critics.
And last but not certainly not least Boll again gets the music right. This time going with power metal bands like blind guardian, and Hammerfall. The soundtrack is certainly a treat if you are a fan of power metal and I would suggest it if you’re not but curious as to what good metal sounds like.

So those are certainly the only pro besides the fact that I think Leelee Sobieski is hot. But wait!!! There’s plenty more cons. The story itself while most of it stems from the game is predictable and boring because of the out of place actors it’s hard to care about anyone when the king is poisoned I laughed I couldn’t help it.

I did happen to run into a higher up from gas powered games while working at Comp USA (their offices where incredibly close as where Microsoft’s.) and he told me he was the one of the ones who sold the rights to Boll. I asked him why he would do that and his reply was money. And this leads me to another point.

Videogame movies would not be bad if the companies behind the original game where involved in the production a little more and possibly set certain stipulations ahead of time. More often then not a company collects its cash and could care less how fans of the game feel about how shitty and raped our games get I have two examples for you. The first is silent hill Konami was involved with the making of this movie from start to finish and it turned out great and should have been pleasing to any fan of the game unless they are a fan boy/fan girl who are never satisfied with anything. The second is Max Payne now this is certainly not the worst video game movie in fact I liked it a lot but the coo of remedy entertainment said he hated the Max Payne movie and wasn’t satisfied with it until it started making money then he loved it.

Anyway back to the movie at hand I believe we are at the how I would do it section. And if you haven’t already guessed the biggest thing for me would be casting Statham and Pearlman where fine in my opinion but Liotta and Reynolds definitely not. I would have ditched the matrixesque fight scene in the end for a more traditional one on one possibly giving farmer a few spells considering every class in the game has them that way it could be spell vs. spell sort of thing.

Overall the movie blows, one or two decent performances do nothing to save this movie and the action while entertaining at times is just as bland as the dialog the music is great and there’s lots of stuff from the games but it was almost doomed from the start with Boll at the helm. The good news is after this Boll said he would never again work with a big budget so thank god for small miracles.

Over all the movie gets 5 out of 10 poisoned kings. It does have a lot from the games but out of place actors and passable action pull this one into the mud.

The acting gets 3 out of 10 only two performances where any good and the rest where laughable passable or downright bad.

The plot gets 6 out of 10 most of it was straight from the game with a few minor changes.

The content gets 7 out of 10 a good chunk of classes and races where included as well as locations and monster design and the Krug even said “Krug” like in the game.

Ok another one done and quickly this time mostly because I’m eager to review the next movie on my list witch if you read my top ten best and worst video game movies you would know it is by far the best video game movie ever made and here’s the real kicker it’s another Boll movie. That’s right up next is postal and boy oh boy it is a duzy then on to far cry to wrap up the Boll movies then Max Payne and as soon as Chun-Li comes out ill take care of that one which will complete the catching up and then I’ll be able to review movies as they hit theaters as long as I’m able to see them.