street fighter

STREET FIGHTER
Quick question what do you get when you mix one of the greatest fighting games ever with a horrible movie adaptation? Answer street fighter the motion picture there’s a lot to be said about this horrible piece of coin-op garbage so let’s jump right in.
So the plot of street fighter follows the adventure of UN COL. Guile oh sorry I mean AN COL. guile portrayed by one of the greatest martial artist of our time jean Claude van damn wait did I say greatest oops never mind let’s move on.

Anyway M.Bison has taken over shadow-loo and is demanding money or he’s going to kill some hostages so guile is planning on saving them. Meanwhile ken and Ryu get their kicks by fighting great martial arts challengers oh that’s not right I mean selling nerf guns to terrorists so they can rip them off. Also mean while Chun-Li, E.Honda and Belrog want revenge on bison and his thugs Sagat and Vega because they have all been wronged by him.

So Ryu, Ken, Vega and Sagat all get locked up in guiles prison then escape because guile lets them. Everyone makes it to Bison's hide out where bison lets Ryu and ken join his ranks and where he happens to be keeping Chun-Li. Guile is extra pissed by now because bison has revealed that he is holding Charlie hostage and doing experiments on him. So Guile, Cammy and T.Hawk plan to storm Bison's hide out and while he does bison use's a floating street fighter 2 controller to blow up guiles boat.

And then everyone escapes and starts fighting Ryu fights Vega. Sagat fights Ken. E.Honda fights Zangief and Guile fights Bison while everyone else fights nameless drones. Eventually guile beats M.Bison and everyone is happy yay now let’s get down to the review.

The first problem with this movie is they changed a lot of characters Sagat Vega and Balrog are supposed to be Bison's right hand men. The completely disregarded the rivalry between Sagat and Ryu. Ken didn’t even have blond hair. They got Chun-Li right and Bison’s motives for the most part. Guile was a COL. but not for the right army and Charlie is not Blanka although the explanation in the film of M.Bison making a solider is better than the one in the game for Blanka in my opinion. The fighters do use some of their moves but all of them are very watered down there’s a Hadouken but it ends up just being a flash. Guile uses his flash kick which is actually ok Vega uses his rolling crystal flash which is the move where he rolls forward then stabs. E.Honda does the hundred hand slap without his hands moving as fast in the games. Witch I can accepted because it is actually a real sumo move. Chun-Li kicks bison a few times but is nothing like her signature move. Ken uppercuts Sagat but he just spins there’s no jump so it’s not really the shoryuken at all. Cammy does her head scisors throw and snaps a guy's neck in the process which is pretty cool.

Now with the exception of E.Honda, Chun-Li, Vega, Zangief and Balrog the actors chosen don’t really fit their video game counter parts. Sagat is a skinny gun runner when in the game he is a huge Muay Thai fighter. Guile is not French and jean Claude does nothing to hide his accent in the game guile is an air force COL. and all American. Deejay is a Jamaican kick boxer not comic relief and not even a major player in the street fighter universe so why he’s in the film I don’t know.

Blanka like I stated before is not a soldier and is not Charlie in the game jimmy/Blanka’s plane crashes and he grows up in the jungle and the constant application of plant based camouflage is what causes his screen skin then he becomes the protector of a village. Dhalsim in the game is a yoga master and holy man not a scientist and while the ages may be right because of his yoga the Dhalsim in the game is extremely fit because of his training. Now with bison I’m torn because I love the actor and he was actually the most like his game counterpart with the exception of his physique and he used his most famous move the psycho crusher except he doesn’t spin. As a little fun fact rail Julia only did the movie because his kids asked him to. I can understand not being able to get people that looked just like the video game character because they were so muscular but I mean was blond hair so much to ask for .

Now I’d like to introduce a new feature to my reviews that I’d like to call how I’d do it. It’s where I give a quick synopsis of how I would change the movie to make it better.

First id dump jean Claude and find someone without a French accent to play an American air force col. As for the plot I would show the main fighters competing in street fights like an underground type circuit of fighting. I would show Ryu beating some minor character from the game like Dan. Then ken beating someone and so on until the main good guys were introduced which would be ken Ryu guile and Chun-Li as they are my favorite good guys and it’s my fucking movie. Then we would have bison talking to his generals which would be Sagat Vega and Balrog like it’s supposed to be. Bison would explain his plan thus covering that plot point.

Bison would explain how he’s been keeping an eye on the “street fighter” circuit and wants to recruit our heroes. Of course when confronted our heroes would decline and fights would ensue I would have Ryu be attacked first and he would win I would have him fight Sagat and he would scar his chest with a shoryuken like it’s supposed to be. Sagat would run away and Ryu would head for where ken is. Meanwhile after an exhausting fight with Belrog vs. guile and Vega vs. Chun-Li both heroes would lose and be taken hostage Ryu would show up just in time to save ken defeating Blanka who bison released after Sagat's defeat Ryu would use his dragon kick to win.

During all these fights the characters would use their signature moves they don’t have to be as flashy as in the game as hands being on fire don’t make much since when they do upper cuts but they would have the height on them and Chun-Li’s feet would be cg for when the start moving really fast. Ken and Ryu would then make plans to stop bison from taking over the world along their way to gather info they might have fights with E.Honda maybe Charlie and Dhalsim that would be decided during the script writing.

All throughout the movie bison would make references to the most powerful fighter he’s ever seen but he only gets reveal at the end. So the heroes make it to Bison’s fortress and free Chun-Li and guile bison corners them and they all start fighting bison using his psycho energy to knock them around but eventually all 4 get the upper hand and this is when he unleashes the ultimate fighter Akuma. Akuma busts into the room using a dark Hadouken Ryu would be scared shit less by this display of energy but while guile and Chun-Li fight bison ken and Ryu would fight Akuma the fight would seem to be in favor of Akuma and he would hit ken with a Hadouken this would piss Ryu off so much he would perform the combo everyone would hope for a shoryuken into a dragon kick then as Akuma is falling Ryu would leap into the air and deliver a Hadouken.

Everyone would be happy and the movie would end. Os now that that is done on to the scores

Overall the movie only gets a 3 out of 10 Hadouken's the

The acting gets a 3 out of 10 most of the acting was poo and sometimes you can’t even understand van damn.

The content gets 4 out of 10 it had a lot of characters in it and a street fighter two controller plus most of the signature moves however they were very watered down.

The plot gets 3 out of 10 for the fact that bison and Chun-Li were the only ones acting like there game characters everyone else was changed for the most part.

Another review done and as a side note here like double dragon this movie got a game made about it however it was horrible crap it was photo realistic like mortal kombat but the animations where so choppy and the special moves where stupid I mean why not just play street fighter the game not street fighter the movie the game.
Next up mortal kombat double review.